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How’d That Get Made into a Movie?

Not a Rant 31.07.2008 No Comments

One of the previews I saw at “Mamma Mia” was for “Flash of Genius.” This is a “based on a true story” movie about the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper blade. Ford stole his invention, and the man took them to court. It’s one of those underdog stories Americans love, so I’m sure you can guess the outcome (at least I could from the preview, but most previews nowadays tell you pretty much the entire story, but that’s a different rant).

As I watched it, I couldn’t help but wonder, Out of all the stories that are out there, how come this one became a movie? Was it because Greg Kinnear took the leading role? Did a producer have ties to the intermittent windshield wiper guy and think this was compelling? Does Hollywood just like a good “little guy takes down the big corporation story?” What?

I’m always curious as to what projects are greenlighted and how they get to be made. What makes a story so good that it should be immortalized on film? I’m sure there are tons of reasons (and they’re not all “casting couch”), so I’m really curious. Anybody have any ideas?

Smoking in Films Is Hazardous to Your Health

General Rant 30.07.2008 3 Comments

I saw “Mamma Mia” over the weekend. A fun movie and good summer escapism. Makes you want to go to Greece, that kind of thing.

I’m a credits watcher because I like to see all the names, the interesting job titles, and just how many assistants some of the stars have. Even though the IMDB list doesn’t include this name, one of the Greek crew members–I think he was part of the Greek Air Force–was just known as “Mr” Montopulous (or whatever his Greek surname was). Was this guy so intimidating that they called him “Mr” out of fear? Or, when they did the credits, could nobody remember his full real name? Or was “Mr” really his first name?

Anyway, at the end of the credits, there was a health warning because the act of smoking had been depicted in the film. Yes! It said that smoking was harmful and secondhand smoke was also hazardous to your health.

Of course, I had to think to remember where smoking was depicted. It’s in a scene where Meryl Streep and her friends are singing, and one of them pretends to smoke using a wrapped tampon. Personally, wrapped tampon as cigarette–even when wrapped–grossed me out a little more than the idea of smoking.

I wonder if every movie is going to have this warning, or if smoking in movies is going to be banned as well at some point. If smoking’s so bad for you, why don’t we just make it illegal? Or are state governments too dependent on cigarette sin taxes (and maybe tobacco lobby money) to create these kinds of laws?

The Never-Ending War

General Rant 29.07.2008 2 Comments

I know the Chicago Tribune is going through some tough times. I know they think they have to change their content in order to get more/new readers/subscribers. But why do they have to keep fucking with me?

I subscribe to the paper only on the weekdays. On the weekends we usually don’t have time–even for the nice, big Sunday paper. We sleep in too much or I go to church, but whenever there’s a Sunday paper, it takes most of the week to get through it, and with all the magazines I’ve happily signed up for, I don’t have time for the daily paper, plus magazines, plus leftover Sunday paper too. Even though I want it, I have to draw the line somewhere, and right now, it’s at the Sunday paper.

So you can color me surprised when I looked at yesterday’s Tempo section (Arts) and saw that they’d taken out the TV listings grid. If I want that, I should get the Sunday paper or go online.

Why, if I want to know what’s on TV, should I spend time on the computer–more, if the computer is off–when I can just flip open the paper and find the information in a few seconds? I know, some of you think the computer is faster, and believe you me, I like computers and the information you can get with them. It’s just that even though the TV grid is now on the front page of the Trib’s online entertainment section, it still takes longer to load than it does to look at the newspaper. And I don’t have cable–those listings take another click (and load).

I’m this close to saying, “Fuck it! Cancel the subscription!” Every week there are changes that seem pretty asinine. Every day there’s at least one (if not more) stories in the new Powerpoint-esque format that has a little header for almost every paragraph (so that if you’re not good at comprehending something that’s written at a fifth grade level, you can just follow the bullet points). Those drive me nuts. If the whole newspaper becomes something for idiots who can’t read full sentences that are strung together in these magical groups called paragraphs, which align together to become stories, then I don’t want to read it.

Moves like this make me think of the movie “Idiocracy” by Mike Judge of “Beavis and Butthead” and “Office Space” fame. It’s about this guy who’s put into hibernation by the government. He wakes up 500 years later and sees how horribly our country’s devolved. People don’t speak decent English, think plants need electrolytes to grow, that kind of thing. I keep seeing changes in our country that make me feel like we’re devolving, and I wish that I could find more examples that make me feel otherwise.

Hammer! Hammer!

New Product Review, Not a Rant 28.07.2008 Comments Off

Hey, folks! You can now get your very own copy of this year’s feel-good movie (that you’ve never heard of) “The Hammer” at Amazon or rent it at Blockbuster.

The Boy puts up with me referencing Adam Carolla (star and guy who came up with the story) constantly because I listen to his podcast for a couple of hours every weekday. This movie came out in selected markets in the spring, but it never got to Chicago. I’ve been dying to see it because people call in and talk about how great it is. We’ve also seen the trailer, and the Boy told me, “You don’t understand! I am going to like this movie!”

Since it never got to a theater near us, we had to wait for the DVD release, and the Boy surprised me with a copy when it was available. Is this movie about a carpenter/boxing instructor who’s given one more shot to be a real fighter as good as I’d hoped? Pretty much! It’s a low-budget movie, and that shows, but the jokes are funny, the story is good (with a nice little twist at the end), and the acting is good. And it doesn’t hurt that Adam does a riff on the Dutch (and the phrase “Dutch treat”) that made me laugh so hard I couldn’t make anymore noise, and simply had to raise a fist in solidarity. That alone is worth the $20.

They Got Rid of the Thumbs?

General Rant 25.07.2008 No Comments

Don’t you hate it when things change, even though they shouldn’t? And you care, even though you haven’t thought about said thing in years?
This week Ebert & Roeper announced they were no longer doing “At the Movies” with the Disney company. They wouldn’t say much of the reason behind the split, just that Disney wanted to go in a different direction, and the talent didn’t agree, so they walked.

Good for them. I’m glad when people hold up some high standards and are willing to bite the bullet so that those standards don’t go away.

What I didn’t know was that the classic “thumbs up/thumbs down” trademark developed by Ebert & Gene Siskel had gone by the wayside last year. When I read that, I immediately thought, “They got rid of the thumbs up? How could they do that??!”

I haven’t watched Ebert & Roeper for probably a couple of years. If I see it, it’s on in a bar, and I see it accidentally. Sometimes I look to the show for a review, but it’s not currently on my radar. So why should I care if “something from my youth” had gone away?

I felt kind of stupid for having this gut reaction. It’s like people who cry because “a shopping institution” closes, yet they haven’t shopped there in years. I shouldn’t care, but surprisingly, I still do.

More Penny Pinching

General Rant 24.07.2008 3 Comments

As you recall, I quit my full-time, stable job in February for a unknown life as a freelance writer. Although I’m happy and enjoying the writing, let’s be real: The income is nowhere near what I was earning before. This means that we have to be a little more creative about how we spend our money.

For the most part, it hasn’t been bad. Our biggest spending category is eating out, and we’ve trimmed that substantially. However, it doesn’t hurt to try to save money elsewhere, which in Cook County, IL, home of the country’s biggest sales tax, can be difficult to do.

One thing I’ve taken up is making my own carrot sticks. This sounds so minor, but it’s actually a big deal to me. I usually grab the baby carrots because they’re ready-to-eat. I don’t have to exert any more effort other than opening the bag. They’re also more expensive than buying a bag of carrots and chopping up your own sticks.

A couple of weeks ago, I figured I’d save a little bit by buying the full-size carrots. I patted myself on the back. Then I got them home and they sat in the fridge for a few days. I’d forgotten I don’t like spending the time on making my own carrot sticks (and it does take a surprisingly long time to wash, peel, and slice up carrots).

Needless to say, I got over myself pretty quickly. I had to because I can’t waste money on food that sits in the refrigerator until it rots. Not that I can afford to spend the time on this task either, but at least it keeps my knife skills in check.

More Complete When Sitting

General Rant 23.07.2008 1 Comment

The other day I was at a hot dog stand that was new to me. I stood at the register, staring at the menu for several minutes, trying to figure out what they called the sandwiches and what I should order. The owner waited and waited for my order. A line started to form. Still, I couldn’t figure it out.

I finally blurted, “I guess I’ll have the Chubby.” Transaction complete, I sat down to wait for my food.

While I waited, I kept looking at the menu, and only then did I realize I should’ve ordered the Flubby, the regular hot dog. Not the Chubby, which was a 1/4 hot dog. Standing up, I couldn’t figure out the difference between the two, so I just ordered the first thing on the menu. I probably also had a subconscious desire to sabotage myself, seeing as how I’d lost another pound.

I can’t imagine I’m the only one who can’t seem to get any brain power when I’m looking at a menu for the first time. I’ve seen these people everywhere: Head tilted up to look at the menu, mouth agape (drool optional), trying to figure out what exactly to eat. Meanwhile, a line forms behind the person, with everyone thinking, “Come on! It’s McDonald’s! It’s un-American to not know the menu here!”

Heck, I rarely go to McDonald’s anymore, so that person is me, wondering, “Don’t you serve just a regular cheeseburger? Why can’t I find that on the menu?” I’m sure if the State Department knew that, they’d consider revoking my passport.

The worst part of this phenomenon is that once I sit down, I can totally comprehend the menu and what I would’ve ordered. I don’t understand what is so difficult about standing that my brain can’t multi-task that with reading a menu.

We Don’t Need No More Edumacation

General Rant 22.07.2008 3 Comments

Sigh. You know (sigh), I must just be totally disconnected from the world because I do not understand what the problem is with sending kids back to school in mid-August, but apparently it’s just too difficult for the families, the Chicago Tribune reports.

There is nothing that gets my goat more than a front page story about a bunch of whiners. Let’s look at this for a minute. Schools are starting to push up their start dates for a few reasons:

One district mentioned they wanted the semester to end before the winter holiday break because it was stupid to have a long break, come back to school for a week, then have to take exams. Hear! Hear! After I experienced the semester break before Christmas, I didn’t understand why high schools had the semester ending in January. That’s two weeks where you’re not really studying (let’s be honest. You’re not really studying). It’s hard to get back in the swing of things a week or two before the exam.

There’s extra time to study for the state tests. And I’m guessing another week of school wouldn’t hurt, considering that American students are not the brightest in the bunch compared to the rest of the world.

But parents, who, from comic strips, I’m led to believe are thrilled to have the kids out of the house on the first day of school, are complaining. It’s too early to start shopping for back-to-school stuff! It feels like we haven’t had a summer! We’re missing out on vacation and family time! And the states are in on it too–according to the Trib article, Michigan mandated school couldn’t start until after Labor Day because too much education hurts the tourist industry.

Parents, you’re free to start your griping on how I don’t have kids so I don’t know what it’s like, but do you have to start your back-to-school shopping now? Tell the stores you don’t like the pressure. Vote with your wallet. But don’t haul your kids to the store in July when you’ve got another 3-4 weeks to shop for supplies, and then gripe about it! Why are you hauling your kids to the store for a shopping trip anyway? What happened to that quality family time you’re looking for? Or does the definition of “quality family time” include “a nightmarish day at Target/K-Mart/the mall” getting school supplies?

I don’t even know where to start on the whole tourism industry being upset that education cuts into their earnings. Heaven forbid little Bobby learn his multiplication tables when he could be living it up at a Days Inn!

Perhaps the only good thing about this is that it staves off the Christmas sales just a little while longer.

Clothed by Religion

Not a Rant 21.07.2008 Comments Off

I’ve seen this particular scene twice in the last couple of months, and after some consideration, I thought I’d bring it up here. Both times I was walking on the street, and I saw an Islamic woman wearing a niqab. I didn’t think that was so odd–I mean, seeing women walk around in drop-temple sunglasses actually stirs up many more thoughts inside my brain. What I did think was odd was that both of these women were wearing flip-flops.

Wait a second. If you’re trying to dress modestly, so you cover up your entire body except for your eyes, why do you allow your feet to show when you’re walking and the niqab robes flap around, exposing some skin?

I tried to do a little bit of research to try to understand Islamic dress because although I understand some of the reasons one wears a hijab or niqab or even burqua, I don’t fully get it. I probably won’t fully get it either because I only know some of the basic tenets about Islam. I’ve never read the Koran or anything like that. My thoughts about this have basically been, “Well, I guess that’s what they do. So be it.”

Although I found some useful information, I didn’t really learn much about proper feet coverings, which led me to wonder why the women were allowed to show so much skin on their feet. Personally, I would think flip-flops were a little immodest, but what do I know. I also wondered whether Muslim men who move in circles where the women fully cover themselves have more foot fetishes than the average person, if that’s all they get to see of a woman.

Non-Muslim women who want to dress more modestly now have an option (beyond pulling out the sewing machine and the “Little House on the Prairie” patterns): The women from that polygamous sect in Texas are now selling clothes online. Apparently nothing in the “Ladies” and “Gentleman’s” sections yet–perhaps we have to protect the kiddies from sin first.

In other religious clothing news, did you see that the folks behind the male topless Mormon calendar have been excommunicated from the church? I am so going to be their MySpace friend! All of the hullabaloo makes me wonder if the church’s reaction would’ve been the same if the models were just in their Mormon underwear.

Urban Games

General Rant 18.07.2008 No Comments

Is it just me, or do you also play “Ketchup, Paint, or Blood?” when you see red splotches on the sidewalk? I was playing that game with myself a few weeks ago. I was pretty sure the answer was, “Blood.” I don’t want to know what the answer really was, and if it was blood, I really didn’t want to know how it got on the sidewalk.

I suppose this is just one of those urban things you get used to dealing with, like density, graffiti, public transit, panhandlers, street vendors/musicians, walking to most places you shop, avoiding puddles when it hasn’t rained, and allotting at least a half-hour to get to the gym. These are all things that have been frustrating me lately. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with living in a city, when it can be such a hassle.

Then I remember that I don’t have to own a car, I can get food late at night, there are five million things to do, and the park and lake are within walking distance. That helps make the frustrations a little more worth the effort.

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How’d That Get Made into a Movie?

Smoking in Films Is Hazardous to Your Health

The Never-Ending War

Hammer! Hammer!

They Got Rid of the Thumbs?

More Penny Pinching

More Complete When Sitting

We Don’t Need No More Edumacation

Clothed by Religion

Urban Games

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