the Diva Platform

Jill has a new co-worker in her department who’s there on a two year transfer from one of their offices in another country. She’s mentioned him a few times, especially in the context of someone who works a little more closely with the guy. This person told Jill, “Watch out for Edgardo. He’s special.”

Jill has ranted to me more than once about this guy’s “special-ness.” Oh, he’s pleasant enough and does good work, but he’s apparently not that socially adept. Jill sometimes wonders if she should invite him out because they live near each other, but anything more than a two-minute conversation gets to be a little awkward, and the thought of spending an evening with him–even with the Boy, who can talk to anyone–doesn’t sound like a good prospect.

My mom and I were talking the other night, and as I am wont to talk about Jill, I rehashed this conversation to her. My mother said, “You don’t have to be nice to everyone. And you don’t have to be friends with your co-workers.”

Wait a second! When I was growing up, I was told to be nice to everyone. In grade school I could only have birthday parties every couple of years because I had to invite the entire class since “we don’t exclude anyone.”

[When I got to jr. high this changed, and the "don't exclude anyone" philosophy didn't hold true for everyone in my class apparently, since I was one of four not invited to a big slumber party that was the talk of the class when I was in eighth grade.  Luckily, I'm actually not bitter about that.  After all, my parties then consisted of the four of us who weren't part of the cool crowd in the class.]

Yet, now she’s telling me I don’t have to like everyone. What gives? I understand that it’s really impossible to include everyone these days. You just aren’t going to get along with everyone. But it’s taken me years to figure out why I can’t get people to like me even when I include them, and I’ve spent a lot of time with people I simply don’t click with just because I’m supposed to include them.

It’s just frustrating to have to struggle through these thoughts that were imprinted on my brain when I was younger. No wonder therapists are in demand!

I am plugging away at my New Releases shelf. How am I doing?

1. There’s Nothing in This Book I Meant to Say by Paula Poundstone FINISHED! August 11. I love Paula, but this book was a bit of a slog. She tries to talk about her life through historical characters, which sort of works, but you could be talking about Joan of Arc one sentence and Paula’s kid at school the next. The style works in her stand up routines but not on paper.
2. Crooked Little Heart by Anne Lamott DID NOT FINISH! August 29. I got about 33 pages in–too many characters right away, and I couldn’t tell who was supposed to be the focus. Also a lot of random description that didn’t seem to fit. It didn’t grip me, and after The Lovely Bones I couldn’t settle. Sad, because I really like Lamott’s Traveling Mercies. Guess there was a reason why I kept putting off this read.
3. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
4. The Sportswriter by Richard Ford DID NOT FINISH! August 22. I got to about 100 pages of this and couldn’t handle it anymore. I actually–and I NEVER do this–flipped to the end to see what would happen.
5. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold FINISHED! August 28. After a couple DNF’s, I was worried I wouldn’t finish another book, but I was sucked right into this one. Told from the point of view of a child in heaven who was brutally murdered, the storytelling on this was just great. Loved it (but don’t want to keep it).
6. Wilderness Tips by Margaret Atwood DID NOT FINISH! August 13. I tried, but I found this book of short stories to be pretty lame–like “Oh, this is Margaret Atwood, so it’s bound to be great,” which is the reason I believe I bought it in the first place. I’m not the biggest fan of short stories, and the 1.5 I read seemed to have an attitude of pretentiousness over the bland writing.

Yes, I’m reading them in an order other than I have here. I so often read for mood that I think putting up books in groups of five or so will give me enough leeway for when I’m not in the mood for something.

I think I’m making progress. If you want to rate progress in terms of finishing books, I’m not doing so well, but at least I am getting books off of my shelf. It’s interesting that I just can’t get into some, and yet I’ve held onto them for years. It took me all of eight years and 30 pages to realize I didn’t really want that particular Margaret Atwood on the shelf anymore.

Another hope in this effort is getting rid of some “should” books: I should have another Pynchon novel. I should read Iris Murdoch sometime. Part of me wants to take some of these books I have just because I should probably read them some time, and toss them now. I tried to do that with The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing though, and a couple of paragraphs in, I was kind of hooked. That one may be in my next batch.

The other week librarian Nancy Pearl was on NPR. You may know of her because she’s the originator of the “One City, One Book” idea. Plus, she has her own action figure (I own two of them…though one lost an arm). Could life get any better? Anyway, she said that for every book she finished, she started about 12 books. Life’s too short to get stuck on a bad book, she says, and I wholeheartedly agree.  And perhaps that will make this project go a little quicker.

This is old news by now, but I’m just now ready to admit I bought the OK! magazine with Britney Spears meltdown on the cover. Which one, you ask? It’s the photo session where Britney went a little crazy, took off early, and made off with some clothes. I’d read some websites about the incident and was madly curious in a schadenfreude sort of way to see what the magazine said about it.

Of course, the magazine was pretty much light on sustenance and heavy on the drama over $21,267 in lost and damaged goods, which is not much to sneeze at, especially if you’re on the low end of the totem pole like myself.

I’d never read an OK! before, and I know why: There is so little actual content, and the content that it has is so mind-numbing that I think I lost some of my own brain power. The “stories” (there’s not that many words in the issue–I think some of my blog entries are longer than all of the articles put together) never really say anything. They dance around the truth….as if they were making it up.

No! A celebrity rag wouldn’t make up their content, would they?!

Oh, please, I didn’t lose that many brain cells. Still, I don’t understand why so many people read this stuff. Is life too difficult for a book? Why do you care if Nicole Richie spends 82 minutes in jail, or if Lindsay gets off with one day in prison? Go outside and take a walk! Get some fresh air, then read a bestseller or something.

I wonder if the ancient Egyptians and Greeks had their own celebrity magazines with articles like these:

“Marc Antony Cheats on Cleopatra!”

“Alexander: Before He Was Great”

“The Secret Papyrus of King Tut!”

“Goddesses: They’re Just Like Us!” (one of those photo montages where you see Greek goddesses taking out the trash, buying food, driving the chariot, that kind of thing)

The sad thing is if we found that, we’d think it’s a magnificent ancient artifact. It’s difficult to think that future civilizations will think the same about OK! and Us.

Fat Camp Phase II involves virtual visits from other members of my team. Fat Camp Exercise Specialist surprised me with a visit last week. OK, let’s be a little clear. “Visit” basically means an e-mail exchange. Here’s how ours played out:

Hello Jill -

It's time for our virtual exercise visit!  Please email me your
responses to the following questions so I can get a sense of how you are doing.

How many steps are you averaging a day?

 -->To be honest, after the first phase, I stopped writing down the
number.  I still wear the pedometer every day though, and on almost
every day I have over 10,000 steps (yesterday was an exception--just 9700)

Are you doing cardio exercise?

--> Yes!

Describe your cardio in terms of:

a.       Type (what exercise)

b.       Intensity (scale of 1-10)

c.       Duration (number of minutes a session including warm-up and cool down)

d.       Frequency (number of days / week)

-->Overall, I exercise 5-6 days/week.  I usually have Friday off, and sometimes 

Saturday gets shafted too, but I try not to let that become a habit.

I have been running a good amount (3-4 days/week).  2-3 miles, pretty
heavy intensity (I can converse but it's with some heavy breathing).
This takes 30-45 minutes depending on distance (distance has been really
dependent on weather and time available.  The heat/humidity really do me
in).  If I run, I will do 15 minutes of the Maya video game workout,
just to keep up with my Maya commitment.  If I don't run, I do 30-45 minutes
of Maya, depending on how much time I have (e.g.--today/yesterday, not much
time, only 30).

I swim once/week.  Workout tends to include some kickboarding, strokework
with that foam thing between the legs.  Some faster sets to increase
intensity.  Strokes are pretty much freestyle and breaststroke.

A friend borrowed Maya for a couple of weeks.  During that time I ran
further, and if I didn't run, I did videos--I have a Crunch Fitness
Bootcamp (weights/cardio--30min), a Quick Fix Cardio Kickbox (10-30
min.), and the Dancing with the Stars workout (close to an hour, cardio).

Are you doing resistance training?

--> Somewhat.  Maya will cycle through:  cardio, flexibility, weight loss,
upper body strength, lower body strength, and core body strength.  I
haven't been doing any solid weights-only workouts.  I have done them in
the past (I'll use a Bill Pearl workout), and I do like them, but for some
reason a weights-only workout isn't on my radar right now.  While I do
feel muscle fatigue with Maya's weight exercises, I'm not sure how fast
her workouts build muscle compared to a Bill Pearl weights exercise.

Describe your resistance training in terms of:
a.	Number of exercises
b.	Number of repetitions per exercise
c.	Number of sets
d.	Number of days a week

-->>Overall, I've been doing resistance with Maya.  The number of
exercises changes with the length/focus of your workouts.  Yesterday I did
a 30 min. upper body, and we did probably 7-8 exercises, 2 sets of 12
reps.  Shoulders, chest, biceps, triceps, and lats.

Are you stretching before and after your exercise sessions?

--> Before, not so much.  I tend to warm up a little.  Afterward,
definitely.  After a run I do a full body stretch (have memorized the
one in the Bill Pearl book).  Maya's weak on stretching.  If you're not
doing a flexibility workout (lots of yoga) she does a quad stretch, a hamstring
stretch, and maybe a neck stretch.  I have to supplement that with calf
stretches, biceps, triceps, chest, lats, etc.

Have you tried any new activities?

---> No....except that Dancing With the Stars workout was new to me...it's
a little weird though, so I'm not sure how often I'll do it.  You do do a
lot of jumping around and some decent stretching at the end, but overall,
it's a little hard to follow.

What are the barriers that you are facing in completing your exercise program?

 --> Lack of time.  I really like the run/15 min. w/ Maya workout, and I
like to swim, but hauling to the gym is a pain.  I don't like feeling that
in order to get done everything I need to get done, I have to cut back on
my workouts.

Are you having any discomfort?

 -->Yes.  When I run, I immediately get a side stitch.  To counteract it,
I try breathing deeply, and it eventually goes away.  Sometimes it comes
back though.  Why do I get this?  It also takes me anywhere from .5-1 mile
to settle in and feel comfortable in a run, but I think that's just what
my body does.

I'm also having wrist pain--right wrist, and I'm sure it's from mousing at
the computer.  Anything I can do to strengthen it?

Had some odd pains in my right foot yesterday around the whole foot where
the arch is (so entire middle of foot).  This pain was only when I wore my
running shoes and was working out.  The plantar fascitis has been acting
up (believe it's from wearing sandals and the support in them is going),
and I guess it's related to that.  I overpronate (I believe), so I wear
Brooks Adrenaline shoes and use Superfeet for the fascitis.  It didn't
bother me today while I worked out though.  Maybe it's time to look for
everyday shoes with better support.

I did not tell FCE I freaked out a little when she asked me about my step average. I stopped writing it down because although I was good with writing down that number, I’ve been doing well with my steps. I’d like to wean off of the pedometer eventually, but I’m a ways away from that option. Taking away the writing it down makes me feel less tied to (and bound by) these numbers. As long as I see a high enough number on my pedometer every day (10000+), I’m happy.

I also didn’t tell her just how weird the DWTS DVD is. It’s weird. Ashley Del Grosso talks in such a high, perky voice, that I’m not sure she’s human. And I didn’t say that I’m mesmorized with Kym’s pants–how they actually stay on her body defies physics in some way, I’m sure.

FCE seemed pleased with my progress:

Hi Jill -

Sounds like things are going well for you!  Shorter workouts are ok, as
long as you're consistent.  Try to focus on the things you enjoy, which
will help with motivation and scheduling.  As exercise becomes a regular
part of your routine, you may find yourself seeking ways to allow for
more time and longer workouts.

I'm not qualified to diagnose anything, but it does sound like you're
doing the right things about your foot/plantar fasciitis.  Supportive
shoes during the day do make a difference.

As far as the side stitches, I'm going to link you to Coach Jenny's blog
on Runners World.  She did a great job reviewing the details, causes and
preventative measures.
http://askcoachjenny.runnersworld.com/?cm_re=HP-_-News%20And%20Blogs-_-A
sk%20Coach%20Jenny:%20Your%20questions,%20answered (scroll down to her August 9th entry)  The wrist pain does seem like it could be mouse related.  Wrist curls with a light dumbbell in both directions can possibly help. (Palm facing up, as well as palm facing down)  Keep up the great work!

Whew! Survived the first visit! I didn’t really know what to expect–it’s nice to get some advice, and I figured I should be as detailed as possible in my e-mail to her so that she had a good sense of what was going on. I wonder how some of the other clients deal with these virtual visits.

Now I’m waiting for the FCN to e-mail me. That should be a doozy. “Uh, I’m having a hard time keeping my mouth shut when it comes to food.” Well, not exactly, but I’m still not losing weight all that quickly because I do eat a little too much. Still, I still feel like I’m doing OK. Perhaps it’ll take me a little longer to lose, but I’m doing it right, and I think my changes are so slight that sometimes I don’t even notice them until they’re already good habits. If I could only wipe out all the bad habits now…..

Here’s a look at the numbers:

Last week (visit to Fat Camp): 178.8

This week:  177.8

We’ve been seeing a good amount of roller derby this year, thanks to the -Sans and now Rollergirl. Now the girls are recruiting for next season, and a few people looked at me and asked if I’d try out.

Hell no.

Especially after Saturday.

To be honest, if I’d discovered derby anywhere from 6-10 years ago, I’d totally do it. It looks like a great way to let off some steam, get in shape, and try to look good doing it. At my age (ah, my first senior moment!), my knees aren’t that great (hopefully with the help of Fat Camp that will change), and I’m not super-excited about the inevitable bruises and possible bone breaks.

The Boy also doesn’t think he could handle the worry if I was knocked down and flailed about on the track while crying. We saw this a good amount on Saturday.

Perhaps it’s the fact that we had an almost-full moon, but things did not go well.

All the girls were really keyed up. They presented the 2nd place trophy WCR got at Eastern Regionals last week (they STOMPED on a lot of teams, and they’ll be at Nationals in Texas next monty). Then the match-ups were:

The Fury vs. Double Crossers
Hells Belles vs. Manic Attackers

Almost immediately the injuries start. Hoosier Mama takes a bad hit and medics have to look at her knee. She sits out a couple of jams but seems to be OK because she gets back in it. The first half of The Fury/Double Crossers is LOW scoring, and that’s really odd. The score is something like maybe 19-10, and I believe the Double Crossers were ahead.

The next match starts, and yes, the Manic Attackers have stunk up the joint this year, but Gun Show Poe gets the lead jammer on the first jam, and they’re looking good. Heck, Ada Hatelace got a grand slam! When have you seen a regular Manic Attacker get a grand slam this year?

Then things get a little bloody. Ying of Fire takes a huge hit from Meagan Formor and goes down. Her nose is bleeding–could be a bad cut across the bridge, but it’s probably broken.

Annie Maim goes down with a knee injury, and she’s writhing in pain. It takes a while for her to be helped off the rink. This is when the Boy says, “Absolutely not. I never want to see you in that situation.” I would have to agree. It wasn’t pretty looking.

At halftime, the entertainment is Val Capone getting her head shaved because she lost a bet with Honey Badger over who could be first to get on the glutton wall at Kuma’s Corner (Val went out of town for the
regionals, and that’s when Honey finished it off….but Val did eat 12 burgers in 9 days).

Then we start in with the 2nd half. Elektra Fire goes down–either hard on her wrist or someone rolled over her hand, because she’s also crying in pain and indicating something’s wrong with some fingers. She gets back to the bench and a medic comes to take a look at her, but then right away there’s a bad sandwich pileup (that no one seems to really see). Tequila Mockingbird doesn’t get up. Her legs are splayed, and she’s not moving.

Medics work on her–they stabilize her head and neck (don’t take off the helmet though, which is a good thing), check things out, and they call for an ambulance. Then we can see one medic with the reflex hammer testing her arms, knees, and ankles, and you don’t see anything move.

The medics get her out, and Mouthpiece tells everyone that she couldn’t feel her arms or legs. Needless to say, the rest of the match is off and will be replayed at a future date. The girls are really shaken. Rollergirl is a bit shaken too, seeing how she’s trying out for next year’s team. And it seems really weird that this would happen when everyone’s on a huge high.

Rollergirl’s sent updates, and we read some news on Gapers Block. Tequila had a fractured cervical vertebrae, and she spent most of the night in surgery to relieve the pressure in an attempt to stave off paralysis. Yes, paralysis. GB updated with word that she’d regained some feeling in her left arm pre-surgery, so that’s hopeful. Still, about the worst injury that could happen did, and seeing that sort of mortality put a healthy amount of fear in me–enough that I don’t want to become, as the announcers would say, eight wheels of thunder rolling down the track.

The other strange thing about the evening: When we drove away, we had to deal with the ambulance leaving, then a cop van pulled into the overflow parking lot because…a car was on fire. Apparently it was T-Bone Steak YA’s parents’ car. Whoa.

Perhaps WCR should look at the lunar calendar next year when setting their schedule.

A good part of yesterday was consumed with the credit card fraud thing.  Time spent calling people, time spent thinking about daydreaming about what would happen to the guy that did this.

The best part is that Fornello, the restaurant where they made two charges, was on to this guy.  They had a name, address, and phone number–apparently this guy tried to make another order the next day, but for some reason, they knew it was fishy and declined the card.  I wonder how they knew–I mean, I’ve ordered food on my credit card and had it delivered to a different address.  Anyway, Fornello was great, and they said to pass on their info to the cops because they’d like to stop this guy too.  I’m guessing a lot of restaurants have this problem.

Last night I filed a police report (the officer on duty got a kick out of the fact that I had two fradulent charges and one fradulent credit in the city), put a red flag on my credit report, and filled out paperwork to send to the State Attorney General.  I’m sure my time is now costing more than these charges, but seriously, if they can catch the guy, it’s all worth it.

If the Heathers were around today, they might say, “Credit Card Fraud:  Don’t Do It!“

I have one credit card. One. I don’t even do the “back-up card for emergencies” because pretty much every credit card ticks me off in one form or another, or I just wanted to lower the number of credit cards I had in my wallet. By the time I got down to two, the second card company did something to tick me off, so once that debt was gone, I vanquished that card.

This week I was innocently checking my statement online, and I noticed a charge for something from DirecTV.  I didn’t make this charge; heck, I don’t even know if you can get DirectTV in my building. I call Citibank, and they’ll dispute the charge for me.  This is after they asked if I’d bought it for someone else and after I had to call DirecTV to see if they could tell me who did this.  They couldn’t.  Are you surprised?  I’m not.

Next day, two more charges–and a credit–show up for Fornello Trattoria.  I believe I know where that is, and I’ve eaten there once.  Years ago.  Not last Thursday.  I go through the same rigamarole with Citibank except they don’t make me call the restaurant.  All in all, it’s not too painful, but just a pain.  All told, the damage is just under $300.  Petty stuff to Citibank, not so petty to me, and I’m sure whoever took my number was glad to get a huge meal and some fancy TV.
Needless to say, after that I had to close that credit card number and ask for a new one.  The hard part is waiting for the new card to arrive.   All of a sudden I want to buy stuff–expensive stuff or online stuff.  I’m sure once I get the card, that will go away.  I’m also not thrilled about learning a new card number.  I had that one memorized–and I even learned my security code.  I have to get used to 16 new numbers, and I’m not sure how much I like that.   Plus, there’s the thought that maybe someone knows more about me than just my credit card number and will try to get more out of me.

So yesterday I wrote about Adam Seger, who comes up with the most amazing drink combinations.  I’ve got another flavor combination that doesn’t quite work so well for me (and you’ll be shocked about it).

Vosges chocolates are pretty damn good.  Expensive as hell, but dish delish.  The flavor combinations get pretty wild too:

macadamia nut/Indonesian coconut/hemp seed/milk chocolate

Mexican ancho and chipotle chili peppers/Ceylon cinnamon/dark chocolate

Hungarian paprika/dark chocolate truffle

but they turn out to be fantastically delicious.  So you can imagine my excitement when I heard Vosges has a bacon chocolate bar.  Yes.  Bacon.  I tried the Mo’s Bacon Bar, which is applewood smoked bacon, alder wood smoked salt, and deep milk chocolate.  You get the story on the back of the bar (you’d better, for what it costs), which basically boils down to a love of bacon and chocolate and wanting to have the salty and sweet tastes together.  This was a totally meditated experience that involved a lot of experimentation–there was no flash of, “You got bacon in my chocolate!”  “No, you got chocolate in my bacon!”

Which would’ve been a good excuse for the final product.  Mostly, it tastes weird.  You get the salty, you get the sweet.  You take ‘em both, and there you have….a really odd taste combination.  It’s meaty chocolate.  You have a bite and you know that there’s bacon in there, but you think, “Hey, is that bacon in my chocolate?”  Maybe it’s the wrong kind of bacon–maybe it should be smoked differently.  Astrochick said it might be better if it was dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate, and I think she has a point–the cream in the milk chocolate covers up the bacon in an odd way.  If you had that bitter cocoa-ness that you have in dark chocolate, perhaps you’d still get the sweet and the salty would come through as it’s meant to be.

Needless to say, at $7/bar, I won’t be buying it again, but I appreciate the effort.  Next time I’ll stick with…well, since I don’t eat Vosges a lot, I guess I’ll just have to keep experimenting.

Man, yesterday was rough.  The Boy started a new job, so he had all of those new job things to deal with, and I have to learn his new work number.  That in itself would be stressful enough (I’m too lazy to learn how to set the speed dial), but my Monday was pretty hectic and full of oddball requests.  It seemed as if any time I started something productive that I wanted to do, I was interrupted by “something terribly urgent,” and after 4:00, the requests became more difficult and even more urgent.  I was fed up.

Luckily the Boy came up with a nice way to start off the week:  A good dinner at Nacional 27.  We’ve been there for drinks a lot, but we’ve never had a full-blown meal.  It’s also been a while since we had a really fancy, drop-a-load-of-cash meal, and Monday seemed like a fine time to rectify that situation.

Boy, was it good!  We know the drinks there are phenomenal.  Come on, the mixologist makes his own bitters, for crying out loud!  There’s a “market mojito,” which is made from ingredients that come from that weekend’s Green City Market.  It’s fantastic (and a serving of fruit, I’d argue)!

The food though, well, it was also wonderful, and the menu also had several green market items on it.  The Boy had the market tomato salad.  We split the empanadas.  I had this chicken with asparagus and carmelized onions–and I threw on a side of avocado, chayote, and jicama (I like jicama and never think to buy it at the store).  The Boy got a slow-roasted pork that came with cheesy grits.  For dessert he had the churros and I had the market dessert–peach and plum sorbets on a vanilla sponge cake with peach salsa.

The best part about fancy eating though isn’t the delicious food you order.  It’s the complementary samplers they send out as tasters.  Oh man, we got this spicy chicken on a plantain chip, and then they gave us a plate of six small mussels with some sort of vegetable topping (salsa-ish, but it had carrots).  I’m not even a big seafood person, and I liked this!  I’m guessing everyone loves serving these.  The guests don’t expect them, and everyone gets all excited when they show up.  How fun is that?

The kicker though was when Adam Seger, the General Manager/Sommelier/Bar Chef, brought us one of his special concoctions.  One night he and the Boy got to talking about bitters–Adam makes his own bitters–and we’ve been in there a few times since and have said hello.  Nice guy, amazing talent for combining flavors.  He made rum with jerk spice, honey, a bunch of other spices (anise might’ve been one of them), and it tasted like Christmas.  Actually, I thought it should either be called “November” or “Jamaican Thanksgiving” because it would be the perfect drink to warm you up on one of those cold, grey November days.  It was unbelievable.  Who thinks, “I know!  Let’s put some jerk spice in some rum and see what happens,” and then cranks out a stunning after-dinner drink?

We walked out of the restaurant with full bellies and happy hearts, and boy, was it a nice way to start off the week!

On Sunday evening, having postponed the inevitable, the Boy and I went to the grocery store.  The Boy wanted raisins, which I have previously found in the “natural foods” section, after one long night where I went to at least three different places looking for them (are they with canned fruit?  dried fruit?  natural foods?  natural foods??!!).

This time I barreled into the natural foods aisle (it’s crowded, you can’t move anywhere, and why the heck are foods pulled out of different aisles and made into their own section?) and no raisins.  No sign that raisins should even be there.  The Boy comes by, sees the dilemma, and goes off in search of raisins while I attempt to get help from a stockboy.

The Boy comes back in a couple of minutes.  The raisins are back with the other canned fruit now.  Why?  Are they no longer natural?

Growing up, my mother would always go through the grocery store muttering, “They pay people just to move things around in here!”  Of course this time I understood, and I spent the rest of my trip bitterly rambling on about how you can never find anything in a store (and it’s a small, urban grocery store too–why can’t you find anything?), how much room was devoted to space-waster departments like floral when you can’t even find Snoopy fruit snacks on the shelf, and how I sounded like my mother.

I tell you.  Jewel keeps making the shopping experience like a trip through hell–or a Communist country, except we have more choices.  The lines are long and the products are crappy, and it’s never a pleasant experience.