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Weighty Issues

Fat Camp, General Rant, The Quest 12.12.2008 5 Comments

It’s been a while–OK, several months–since I’ve talked about my weight loss progress, especially since I’m not at Fat Camp anymore.

Well, that’s because I really haven’t lost any weight.

Oh, I dropped a little more, especially when I was doing the Navy SEALs Fitness Challenge, but I put on a couple of pounds, and with the holidays, I’m fighting off all the caloric goodness the season has to offer.

Needless to say, I’m not happy with myself.

I’ve apparently found another plateau that I’d forgotten about, though I now remember a time when I was 167, was told to lose some weight, and got down to 163 before I stalled and eventually went back up.

Now I have to fight that plateau once again–and be more persistant about it. Even though it’s nice to weigh as much as I did 10 years ago, it’s not my ideal weight. And even though all I want to do is curl up under a blanket and watch TV, I’m going to have to find a way to motivate myself through this one.

Sigh.

More Numbers

Fat Camp, The Quest 23.06.2008 2 Comments

I got my last round of numbers from Fat Camp, and it was nice to see more improvement than just weight loss. Because I hadn’t eaten breakfast before my last visit, they could do a cholesterol and fasting glucose test to see my overall improvement. Both the American Heart Association and the Mayo Clinic have nice charts talking about cholesterol numbers. Here’s how I stack up since my first results on April 30, 2007:

Total Cholesterol:

Then: 207

Now: 174

I went from Borderline High Risk to Desirable

HDL-c:

Then: 69

Now: 68

This is the type of cholesterol that aids in protecting you from heart disease, and if it’s over 60, you’ll get some kind of protection.

LDL-c:

Then: 120

Now: 93

I was at the high end of the “Near Optimal” range, but now I’m “Optimal for people with risk of heart disease.”

Triglycerides:

Then: 89

Now: 64

Although this is much lower, I never was out of the “Desirable” range to begin with.

Fasting glucose:

Then: 91

Now: 70

Again, according to the NIH, I was normal, but I was getting awfully close to pre-diabetes levels, which scares me. One thing I was worried about before I started losing weight was getting diabetes because I was so fat. If I take the risk test at the American Diabetes Association website, they had the old me firmly in pre-diabetes. I feel a hell of a lot better knowing that I don’t have to worry as much about becoming diabetic. And the cool thing is that I made that happen–there’s so much about life that you can change if you put your mind to it, and it’s nice to know that over the last year I made my life better.

So why am I sharing my numbers with the entire world? Well, I feel that if I’m going to share my story, I’m going to share everything that’s relevant. It is embarrassing that I let my body and health go so much, but seeing the hard numbers helps me (and maybe you) see how much concrete progress I made. Yes, I can tell you I feel better and clothes fit better, but I think seeing all of the facts gives this story a little more impact.

Besides, who am I kidding? Entire world? Reading me? Yeah, right. Right? Prove me wrong, people!

Graduatin’ Time

Fat Camp, The Quest 06.06.2008 No Comments

It’s that time of year where scads of people graduate from high school or college and start a new phase of their lives. I too have just graduated–from Fat Camp.

The Boy wondered what my last visit would be like. “What do you do? Do you get to go to graduation and walk across the big scale one more time? Do you graduate to a smaller scale? Do you get to sit in the smaller chairs?”

I had no idea, but I didn’t think it would be all pomp and circumstance. No certificates, no band playing for me as I walked out of the office, no valedictorian speech to give. But I did have that graduation feeling–that feeling like I was ready to move on. Although I enjoyed going to Fat Camp, I was starting to get that “what am I going to talk about this time” feeling because I’m pretty comfortable with the way things are going in terms of weight loss. It’s going slowly, yes, but it’s still going. And, the bonus is that I’m not really changing my daily habits much. I exercise, I eat less (but it (a) still fills me up, and (b) is whatever I want to eat), I eat better, I’m getting more sleep, I’m thinking better about myself. I don’t know at this point what sort of help more visits can give.
I had my last visit with the Fat Camp Doctor. We mainly reviewed what I thought of the program and how things went. FCD was thrilled that I no longer had the toxic job. She said that I’d spent 13 months focusing on me and what I needed in my life, and maybe all the pieces came together to get me where I am today. I gained the skills I needed to be able to obtain control over my life, and part of that including stepping outside of my comfort zone to start creating the job I wanted. Good things happen outside of your comfort zone, she said, so it’s good to keep pushing it and expanding it as much as possible.

After a little talk, we did some numbers. She was so excited about them!

Starting weight: 190.9

Last month: 170.9

Ending weight: 168.3

That’s a total of 22.6 pounds, or 13.4% of my body weight. Excellent! I’m about what I weighed in 1997-1998, and I’m at this last plateau before I had the 20-pound gain in 9 months. I’m thinner than the Boy has ever known me. And, I’m quite pleased, seeing as how I’m not strict with calories/fat. I don’t lose the 1 pound a week, but I’m really happy with my progress, especially since there were a couple months were I gained some weight back.

My BMI has also gone down quite nicely. I started off in Class I obesity, and now I’m a full point into the Overweight classification. My waist circumference started off at 39.25″ and is now at 35.5″, .5″ away from the point where more risk factors come in.

FCD asked if I’d eaten before my appointment. “No,” I said, stopping myself before blurting out, “I never eat before Fat Camp.”

“Oooo! We can take your cholesterol!” she replied. I’m waiting for those results and am interested to see if they’ll go down at all.

So that’s it. If I want to go back for any one-on-one’s, I’m more than welcome to. I may, depending on how things go. I need to establish some red flags for if my weight goes up, stays up, and I can’t get it down. If I set a number and cross that for a while, I should go back in to see what’s up. Otherwise, I’m on my own.

I think I’ll still report back to you every now and then. I don’t know what sort of red flag to put up at the moment–maybe 172 would be good for the time being. My weight still fluctuates a lot from day-to-day (OK, hour-to-hour, because I still weigh myself a heck of a lot), and it will still go up to 170-171, which I don’t like. I’d like to be totally in the 160s (for now).

This last plateau really has me curious though. Will the weight drop off quickly because this 20 pounds went on quickly? I really don’t know what will happen, but I’ll keep at it

Twenty Down, Twenty-Some to Go

Fat Camp, The Quest 19.05.2008 4 Comments

Last week I went to Fat Camp for my second-to-last visit. Preparation for these visits is usually difficult because it kicks in the week before that I’ll be having an official weigh-in, and I start getting a little more strict about my portions and making sure I get my exercise in. I was lucky in the fact that the appointment was on a Tuesday instead of a Monday because weekends usually make me bounce up a little bit on the scale (and every ounce counts when you’re weighing in). Unfortunately, we had our annual handbell dinner the night before, which meant I literally had to sit on my hands so that I’d keep them out of the bread basket.

This month’s appointment was with my newest Exercise Specialist (FCE3), and we went over my routine and what I wanted to do next. Now that I’m done with the boxing classes, I can start running again. I’m also enjoying a couple of classes at the YMCA, and I prefer not to have Maya yell at me on a regular basis. I also feel like I should be doing some weights. Oh, I get some with the Maya workouts, but I wasn’t sure if that was really enough.

Needless to say, I’m feeling pretty scattered about my workouts, and since I have a problem picking one goal, I was hoping FCE3 would be useful. She helped me plan out a better schedule so that I can see what I’m supposed to do. She likes the different Y classes because they’ll help me cross-train, and I can run a couple of days a week. And she added exercises with a resilience band (now free with Fat Camp!).
FCE3 is a runner, so we talked a lot about running. I like being able to run 5Ks. It’s a nice distance and doesn’t kill you. However, I’m only at 2 miles right now (again–I hate not running much during the cold weather and losing my running legs) and need to work back up to the full 3.1. FCE3 recommended adding about 10% of distance every week until I’m at the 5K mark. I should also increase my running up to three days/week, which I think I can do because I’ve currently got 2 days off in my schedule (that would be the schedule I’ve already crapped out on, having not done the strength training on Thursday and skipping my run on Friday. Not good, I know, but I’ll get back into it).

We also spent a lot of time at the computer finding some 5K races to sign up for–I’m supposed to do one a little after mid-June, I believe, so she printed off all of these races to look into. Now, I’m going to get on an old-fogey high horse here, but I thought today’s kids grew up with technology and knew how to find everything on the internet. Aren’t they all geniuses with technology? Because the young FCE3 didn’t know of the running events calendar at Chicago Athlete, which I had to tell her about after a couple of Google searches gave her garbage results. Then I didn’t even have the strength/courage to nicely tell her what Bastille Day was when she said, “There’s one for Bastille Day, whatever that is.”

Even though she may not be intellectually bright, FCE3 did know her exercise stuff, and that’s probably more important. She told me that for winter running I should buy some better clothing (get a piece at a time because it’s expensive stuff) from a knowledgeable salesperson, and having good-working gear might motivate me to get out in the cold more. She also recommended getting a runner’s journal, but I think I’ll pass on that because I’m not very good at looking at past results (and it’s one more thing to keep track of). She also gave me a challenging resistant band workout–and made sure I did all the exercises properly, which helped–and a bunch of stretches. Will I stick with this workout schedule? We’ll see how it goes.

Now for the numbers:

Last month: 172.5

This month: 170.9

I was hoping to drop a couple more pounds than the previous month–and up until Thursday or Friday before the appointment, I was doing well. I was under 170! Then came the weekend with a few extra beers, and I lost all hope of losing more than a couple of pounds. And it didn’t help that the next day, I was already lighter.

Still, I’ve lost exactly 20 lbs since the beginning of Fat Camp, and that’s a pretty good feeling. It’s weird because I feel so much lighter than I used to, but then I’ll look at myself at a different angle and notice, oh, yeah, I still have a ways to go. I’m around another plateau, so we’ll see how it goes, but I’m actually getting close to the last plateau. Then I’m hoping there’s a free fall, just as there was a super-quick weight gain. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

I have one Fat Camp visit left, and that’s with the medical doctor. I’m hoping I’ll be a little under 170 by then!

The Experts Don’t Know What “Perfect” Is

Fat Camp, The Quest 09.04.2008 1 Comment

How time flies when it seems the scale doesn’t budge: I had another visit to Fat Camp. This time I met with my new shrink (old FCS left to start her own practice), and although it’s my last time with the shrink, I can continue on with her, should I feel the need to.

The first part of our visit was your basic getting-to-know-you/how’s-the-program-working-for-you Q&A. I should’ve prepared by reading my previous blog entries because I had a hard time remembering what I discussed with the last FCS that helped me, other than a complete breakdown that was a sign I should change my job. That, the recommendation to buy smaller clothes and the big glob of fat that the old FCS had in her office seemed like the only things I could remember at the moment. I didn’t mention the glob of fat though. I didn’t see one in the new FCS’ office and didn’t know if she knew about it. If she didn’t, I didn’t feel like getting into a discussion over five pounds of plastic visual aid.
Oddly enough, the glob of fat is strangely gross and comforting all at the same time. It’s like, “Ew, I had all that on my body?” and “Hey! I got rid of that blob!” back-to-back. Maybe I should name the rest of my fat blobs and treat them as poisonous “friends” that I need to get out of my life. “Take that, Macadrian! You thought you could get me to eat two pieces of that birthday cake so you could look better than me this summer! I’m doing those extra minutes on the treadmill, and I’ll show you! Watch out, Coco! You and your work-induced stress eating are next!”

New FCS made me describe my tendency to overeat, and told me she thought I did what she calls “indulging,” which is eating past the point of fullness, but it’s not “binging,” which is just eating and feeling totally out of control while doing it. I can stop myself. Maybe not at a point that I like, but I can stop myself. I’m also better at “urge surfing,” where if I have the urge to eat something, I think about the reasons I want to eat (am I bored or stressed, or am I physically hungry?).
We talked about ideal body size, and FCS even said, “I don’t even know what ‘perfect’ is.” It’s nice to know that in all truthfulness, there really isn’t a perfect size. Now, if we could get the media to believe that, we’d all be better off. My goal weight how I arrived at that number (a fitness assessment from years ago, when I only needed to lose maybe 20 pounds) came up. FCS said that once I reach the goal weight, I still have to work–it’s not like I can go back to eating whatever, whenever and my body will magically keep it off. This sucks because over the weekend I saw a thin, healthy-sized girl drinking a smoothie, and I couldn’t help but wish I could magically drink a smoothie and not have it automatically plastered to my thighs. Apparently, I may not get to that magic place, but maybe I can get to a place where I can have a small one and not think, “Do you KNOW how many calories are in this ‘healthy’ drink?”

The point is that I need to create a new relationship with food and work on my body image. I’m better than I was because it is easier, and I do realize that I can eat pretty much whatever I want, albeit properly portioned; however, some days are more difficult than others. I need to truly trust myself and realize though that I can do this–that I have been doing it and am getting great results. My body looks better, even if I can’t seen it in the mirror.

It’s hard to wrap my brain around that–that I’m doing a good job, that I’m capable of accomplishing this goal, that I should give myself credit for coming this far already. It’s been almost a year, which can seem like a long time, but when I think about a year in the grand scheme of my life, it’s not that long at all. I’m doing well, and that’s something to be proud of.

I’m supposed to work on actually believing that last bit. I come from a “don’t brag about yourself” culture that says you should take on everything that comes your way (especially if you don’t like doing it), do it all well, but feel like you just haven’t done enough/done it right/or it’s no big deal (I moved a mountain today–no big deal!). It’s weird and frustrating to take the credit for something like this. It’s just little old me, trying to right a wrong I did to my own body. I should be pleased with that? Oh, part of my brain knows the answer is yes, but over the next few months, I have to keep telling myself that until the rest of it catches up.

Time for the numbers!

Last month: 174.9

This month: 172.5

Wh-hoo! I’m past my 174 plateau, and with all the Easter candy I’ve eaten and hopefully the muscle I’ve built from the boxing classes, I’m pretty pleased that I’ve still lost basically 2.5 pounds. Hopefully by next month I’ll beat my Fat Camp low as well. I’m feeling lighter–just have to keep on keepin’ on.

Dropping Again

Fat Camp, The Quest 06.03.2008 7 Comments

Wednesday I had my monthly visit to Fat Camp, this time with the nutritionist. If you remember, I’d gained six pounds since my Fat Camp low of ~172. Stress, holidays, and lots of going out helped contribute to the weight gain, but for the last month I’ve really had no excuses. I quit the stressful job, I’m cooking at home more, I’m exercising. So how have these changes affected my weight? Let’s look at the numbers first:

Last month: 178.0

This month: 174.9

Whew! It might have been a little better if I didn’t have a big dinner the night before and could resist the M&Ms that are in the house, but still, this is a good sign. I’m not doing much different–making sure I eat three balanced meals, getting snacks and fluids, and I’ve been pretty good with the exercise.

The FC Nutritionist was happy with the progress, and said the gain was kind of credit card debt–it takes more to get out of the deficit than just paying the money. You’ve got the interest to deal with too.

FCN took stock of what I’ve been doing and worried a little about the potential for too much grazing. The answer may be eating smaller meals more frequently. If I eat breakfast at 9:00 but my body’s looking for something a couple of hours later, no matter what, then maybe I eat a couple of smaller meals. Another key is to really pay attention to my body. It knows what it wants–sometimes it doesn’t want so much, some times it’s famished. Just pay attention and be good to it.

I also should work on getting in the healthy foods, then I can have some not-so-healthy stuff. Same with fluids. Have the water, then you can have a pop. That sort of things.
We discussed fluid intake. There’s a debate over how much water you really need, but if your urine is clear or not neon, you don’t need 64 oz. It seems like the average adult loses 64 oz. a day, so that’s why it’s recommended.

We also discussed fiber a little bit. Fiber intake has been a big deal in our household recently, mostly how much do we get, how much should we get, how much is too much, that sort of thing. FCE said that everybody’s different here too–some can handle 25 grams of soluble fiber, some 50 grams. The deal is that it’s not digested well. It can block up in the intestines, and you need some mono-unsaturated fats/oils (like in nuts and fish) to help move things along.

That was pretty much it though–watch the grazing, keep on truckin’ with the fruits and veg, and listen to my body. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Hopefully it will be so.

Ka-Pow!

Fat Camp, The Quest 07.02.2008 7 Comments

It’s been a while since I’ve talked about Fat Camp, but then it’s been a while since I had a visit. Surely it was long enough that I was able to lose some of that holiday weight? Well, we’ll see, but January was one big party, so things aren’t looking too good.

I met with a new exercise specialist (NFCE) because my last one moved to Colorado. The NFCE is a little no-nonsense–friendly, but in that Maya sort of way when Maya asks how you think you’re progressing and then says, “Well, if you were more consistent with your workouts, maybe you’d see more progress.” Needless to say, the NFCE was out to get me to exercise consistently.

Luckily, NFCE loves Maya and thinks it’s a great program. That’s good to hear. However, I’m starting in with something different: For Christmas the Doctor gave me a 2-month membership to Pow! Mixed Martial Arts Chicago. NFCE said this was a great gift because Pow is really cool. Now, I’d taken a look at Pow’s class schedule and was a bit wary because they offer a lot of boxing and jiu jitsu and Krav Maga–and I don’t even know what Krav Maga is (even after watching a video)–and I’m not all that into getting hit. However, they’ve got kickboxing and yoga and some conditioning classes, so there is enough for me to do.

NFCE wants me to go there 3 days a week, then do something at the YMCA on the 4th. I think I’ll try to sneak in 15 minutes of Maya when I can….and speaking of trying to fit in exercise, NFCE said I have to schedule it and make it happen, and if I’m not going to be able to do it at night, get up early (even if I have to lose a little sleep) and get the exercise in. Exercise will give you the energy you need to combat the fatigue you’ll feel.

The other reason I’m to focus on Pow is that again, I need to focus on one goal. I am obviously not good at doing this–I’m guessing it stems from being an overscheduled kid who’s turned into somebody who doesn’t know how to focus well and accomplish a goal (this is why I was good at research at the consulting firm–constantly into different things. It just got exhausting though–especially when it was a topic I wasn’t interested in). I’ll have to talk about this with the shrink when I see her. Maybe I can fix that bad habit as well.

Oh, the numbers.

Last weigh-in: 177.0

This weigh-in: 178.0

Yep, this isn’t good, but if I’m getting back on track with exercise (and not going out as much), hopefully it’ll start going back down.

What Does Yellow Light Mean?

Fat Camp, The Quest 24.12.2007 No Comments

My December Fat Camp visit with the Shrink was originally supposed to be after Christmas. I’d planned it this way because December is full of food and not so full of exercise. Since we spend Christmas in Florida, I knew I’d have time to exercise away extra holiday cheer that found its way to my body.

Unfortunately, I had to reschedule my Fat Camp visit because my Shrink cut back to two days at the Wellness Institute because she’s starting her own practice. So, before Christmas it was. Let’s do the numbers first:

Last month:173.5

This month: 177.0

Ouch. I gained almost four pounds. I actually wasn’t terribly upset because I’d anticipated a weight gain. I’d been eating horribly (and more of a lot), and I hadn’t been exercising. This appointment was also at midday, and since I usually have them first thing in the morning, I figured I’d weigh just a little more.

The nice thing is that I’m still down from our team meeting a few months ago, so it’s not like I had a total backslide. This is also good from a maintenance standpoint because I need to learn how to notice slight weight gain and stop it before it blows out of proportion and I lose everything I’ve worked for.

FCS told me maintenance is essentially a skill I’d have to learn, and now would be a good time to practice. A flux of 1-4 pounds can happen, and I can think of it as a yellow light. But once I gain five pounds, that’s a red light, and it’s time to kick back into weight loss mode.

Therefore I should weigh myself every day, thinking of a higher number more as problem solving instead of something I should dread. I also need to record my food, use meal replacements (i.e.—Lean Cuisines), exercise, be more mindful of what I’m eating and why.

An important thing is to not get really stressed over slight gains, and just implement some fixes that I know will help. Then it’s important to take a little time to plan and create a strategy to keep maintaining (or in my case, losing) weight.

All in all, this isn’t a huge setback, but this is a good opportunity to think about everything that maintenance involves and start learning to deal with that.

Holiday Motto: Maintain, Don’t Gain

Fat Camp, The Quest 30.11.2007 1 Comment

Phase III of Fat Camp started today with a visit to the FC Nutritionist. It’s always good to see FCN, and our visits are usually pretty short because I know basically what to do, she knows I know. It’s just doing it.

The short story–and you’ll see the numbers in a bit–is that I’m still losing, and although it’s going slowly, I’m still losing. That’s good. That’s all we can hope for at this point. My problem is a stressful work situation that will remain intense for a few weeks yet. Then there will be a little break and it’ll start all over again.

FCN recommended I just try to be as structured as possible. Have meal replacements on hand, especially at work. If you don’t have that, it’s just easy to blow off the diet. On the other hand, FCN conceded, sometimes going out for lunch can take off some of the stress. If I do that, I have to watch portions big time, even if that means having half of the lunch boxed up right when you get it.

Mostly though, FCN’s message was during the holidays, try to maintain the weight (or keep losing). Don’t let yourself gain weight, and that means trying to plan for meals and snacks and be as structured as you can (and exercise!). You can become more aggressive in January when all of the hullabaloo is over (though FCN is not fond of New Year’s resolutions–another reason to love her!).
Some other notes:

A hot drink, such as tea or sugar-free hot chocolate, can hit the craving spot sometimes. But don’t use this as a craving-buster on a day-to-day basis because it won’t work after a while.
I’m on a 1500-1600 calorie/day ideal. If I went down to 1200 calories and was on that for a month, my metabolism would shift, my body would get used to it, and I’d be stuck on the 1200 calorie/day plan for the rest of my life. I definitely like having my wiggle room.
With the encouragement of FCS, I asked to go part-time at work. I have my annual review on Monday, so we’ll see how that goes.

Now for the numbers:

Last month: 174.3

This month: 173.5

Yeah, not the best, but when I realize I’ve lost 17 pounds in seven months, I’m pretty pleased. It’s a heck of a lot better than what could be!

Merely Overweight

Fat Camp, The Quest 11.11.2007 No Comments

Fat Camp Phase II ended with a visit to the medical doctor. I had been dreading my appointment for a good week; the month had flown by so quickly–a bad, stressful week at work, about two weeks of vacation, and then a hideously stressful week at work. The scale had barely budged, and I was worried about actually gaining weight. Plus I was worried about disappointing the doctor by my inability to focus on Fat Camp at the moment.

I had nothing to worry about. The FCD gets mad mad props with me because she was upbeat and positive the entire visit (and not in an annoying way). Instead she tried to get me to focus on the fact that I’ve lost 16 pounds so far, and that’s great work. She also said that because my job is a huge stressor and I’m a stress eater, if I didn’t have Fat Camp, I could be upwards of 200 by now. That was something to ponder.

Now I move into Phase III, which means I have monthly visits with everyone on my team, plus I have a bank of virtual visits I can use. This phase lasts six months. Hopefully by the end of it, I’ll be closer to what my final weight should be.

Time for the numbers:

Last month: 174.8

This month: 174.3

Not a huge difference, but actually, if you look at my BMI, I just made it into the “overweight” category. I’m no longer obese!

Weighty Issues

More Numbers

Graduatin’ Time

Twenty Down, Twenty-Some to Go

The Experts Don’t Know What “Perfect” Is

Dropping Again

Ka-Pow!

What Does Yellow Light Mean?

Holiday Motto: Maintain, Don’t Gain

Merely Overweight

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